"In Search Of Happiness" - Durba

Every piece of happiness after a sequence of struggles and failures makes a day memorable. Moving forward, priority changes. So one memorable day becomes less memorable than a newer one and fades away.

When I was a student, I thought, if I score well, my parents will feel proud of me, everyone around will appreciate me and I'll be very happy. I always remained among the top ten in class, but it never felt as nice as I thought. Then I felt if I can earn my own bread and let my family get rid of some responsibilities, it might buy me the happiest moment. I started earning and supporting my family. Still now I remember my dad's glittering eyes after I showed him my first appointment letter. Slowly I realized, a engineering post graduate, earning five figure salary but not so good looking middle class girl brings lots of worries for parents, alliances rejected me because of my qualification, my salary. My mom didn't even allow me to prepare for higher studies. I believed some person should choose me, knowing me soul deep. But life hardly works that way. So I tried to buy the happiness for my family, getting married to a man of my parents choice. Now I realized my life partner's happiness can only make me happy. So I tried to be a good wife, stretching myself more than I can afford. But It didn't earn me much. All of a sudden I started feeling a new life blossoming inside me. With a new job, new place, new locale, new responsibilities I was already in distress, still my heart started singing. It was 11th Feb, 2007. After a full day of pain, I was gifted with a pink doll.

Nowadays I am loaded with lots of responsibilities at office and home. Frequently I miss meals, forget important tasks, lose control over emotions and at last mess up. But the moment I feel lost in dark, two blinking eyes and an 8-teeth smile charges me up for the next. Now I never regret for anything. I think this is the happiness I was looking for, which never sets a target for me to meet but helps me to carry myself with the pace of life.

I have at last found what I am destined for. Arka, my baby, my soul, just be with me and smile back to me for the rest of my life... rest I'll take care...